Trying Again

Many people know my struggles w/ fertility. We've been trying to conceive for two years now, to no avail. I was seeing a fertility specialist, but didn't get anywhere. He was not the kindest of men, nor did he share much information with me. The staff seemed incompetent and I was scared just sitting in one of their offices because of the area and the clientele. Apparently, the accepted any and all forms of insurance. Another issues, my insurance doesn't cover anything under the "fertility/infertility" umbrella, so I was paying completely out of pocket. The whole process became an impersonal, scheduled chore. So, last March when we decided to start looking for a house, I decided to stop seeing the specialist.

When you're trying to get pregnant, everyone in the world has opinions and suggestions. I can't tell you how many times I've heard, "It will happen when it's meant to be", "As soon as you stop trying and forget about it, you'll get pregnant", "Don't think about it". It really gets quite frustrating. Not to mention that it seems to also be the time when all of your friends seem to get knocked up accidentally. It's not that you're not happy for them, because you really truly are ecstatic, it's that you're haunted w/ thoughts like "why not me? what's wrong with me?"

Since we were purchasing our first house and I was starting a new job I did have a glimmer in my mind. Everyone says you'll get pregnant when you stop worrying about it. Well, now I have two new things to worry about: House, Work. How inconvenient would it be if I got pregnant when I started a new job and needed extra money to make a new mortgage payment?? How inconvenient and yet PERFECT!!!! This would serve as the perfect distraction and thus I'd get pregnant, like magic!

NOT! This is indeed not how it worked out.

Back in the fall, a former coworker of mine informed me that her daughter had finally got pregnant. She'd been trying with no luck as well. She had even gone through several rounds of IVF. My friend gave me the titles of two books her daughter recommended, both of which are about how traditional Chinese medicine helps with infertility. They get into the internal weather of your body and how to create balance through the systems using diet, herbs, acupuncture, and exercise. I read most of one of the books. It seemed very interesting, until I got to the foods suggested. They were a bit extreme and out there for me. Many of which I wouldn't even know where to find. So, I put it down.

I ran into this former coworker again yesterday. Her daughter is due at the first of April and also mentioned that I should call her. My friend said that her daughter swore by the woman she saw. During her first visit, the Dr. placed a finger on her forhead and one on her abdomen. She then asked if the girl was in the water a lot because she has a cold womb. Turns out that she is always in the water, has been on the swim team and is an avid scuba diver. She received acupuncture and herbs from the dr. and continued to see her for 3 months. She had the girl rubbing castor oil on her tummy to help warm it up and she was drinking a tonic nightly. When my friend's daughter went in during the third month, the dr. told her that was the month she'd get pregnant. Sure enough she did.

This had intrigued me yet again. I explained to my friend that I had seen an acupuncturist once, but he wanted me to come a few times a week for several months. At $70 a visit, that was way too much for me to afford. But, when I heard her daughter only went every other week, I decided to look into it again. Last night I spent quite a bit of time online researching local acupuncturists and practioners of traditional chinese medicine. I found one in South Tampa who seemed promising. There was an article in the paper about her and also a story on one of the news stations. I also found another which is located much closer, near work, and slightly less money. Both doctors emailed me back within twelve hours of my email to them. I think I'm going to try the doctor who's closer first because it's more convenient and slightly less money. I've asked to book an appt. for next week. I'll see how I feel after my initial consultation and acupuncture treatment. If I get a good read from her, I'll continue to see her. Her website does say that she specializes in women's health, which makes me feel good. If it all doesn't work out, I'll visit the other practitioner in S. Tampa.

Here's to crossing our fingers and hoping all goes well. I've also decided to start making healthier choices. Not necessarily to aid in conception, but because I'd really like to slim down my figure like it used to be. I've cut out soda's and most of my snacks. Meals this week have consisted of fruit and hard boiled egg whites for breakfast w/ my morning coffee, mixed nuts for snack, yogurt and lunch meat for lunch, maybe another piece of fruit for snack, and then whatever Randy makes for dinner (it's always something healthy). We've been taking the dogs on long walks and I even dusted off the treadmill. Today we'll go geocaching which helps get in many miles of walking while having a blast at the same time. I know I can do this, I used to be a personal trainer afterall. It's just a matter of being disciplined enough to stick with it.